Palladian

5th June 2016.  The Circus, Bath.

Performed by Alex Donaghy, Peta Lloyd, Nimmi Naidoo, Veronica Cordova de la Rosa, Annie Wright, Jenny Wylie.

Curated by Fay Stevens  http://cargocollective.com/faystevens
Devised by Peta Lloyd http://www.petalloyd.co.uk/

“I want you always to remember me. Will you remember that I existed and that I stood next to you here like this?” “I want you always to remember me. Will you remember that I existed and that I stood next to you here like this?”

I shouted, I paused, I whispered, I murmured. I spoke slowly, I rushed and gabbled. Constantly repeated words usually become meaningless for me, I hear sounds without sense. Not these words. Not Murakami’s two sentences. These repeated words became a despairing cry of yearning for recognition.

Will you forget me? Will I disappear for you? Will I cease to exist for you? Then who will I be? Will I be? My desire is for a specific remembrance, for this one moment in this one place; that you feel me stand close, shoulder to shoulder, our warmth permeating each other, just, like, this. I want you to embody me. I want, I need my existence to continue in you. I know that this may not be so.

And yet. Today. Palladian. Our ad-hoc gathering. Our repeating, reverberating, recitation.

“I want you always to remember me. Will you remember that I existed and that I stood next to you here like this?”

Palladian inhabits my body, my self. How could I forget that you stood next to me here like this? How could you forget that I stood next to you here like this?